Mind and Heart – No Chemistry

I smiled through the confusion, laughed through the euphoria, weeped through the agony… I surpassed it all because more than I want to, I had to… life’s an adventure after all. 😄

Time passes, situation turn overs, people changes … but love never fades. I trust that each and every person that comes into your lives comes in it for a reason and there’s no way they’ll depart without leaving a footprint in your heart. ❤

Yes honey, nothing is permanent in this world. People do leave. 🙂 just that some stays longer than expected, not in your lives, but in your heart. 🙂 In fact, some are there forever. 😁

Lately, it has been a pretty challenging to express the mind and heart. I’m always in a dilemma, muddled between thoughts and emotions. Someone once told me that the mind and heart does not latch on to chemistry thus love is painful because though you know it’s disastrous, you can’t keep yourself from feeling it. 😉 and as much as it hurts, you can’t negate the wonderful moments which turns out to be life’s greatest memories. 😀

I’ll miss you. I’ll miss us. Thank you for being a great spot. Thank you for coming into my life and teaching me to endure the worst pain of all. Most importantly, thank you so much for loving me unconditionally. I wished, yes, WISHED – and not wish because I know it’ll never happen in this lifetime – that the situation was a whole lot different. Maybe we would have made it through happily. 🙂

Oh well, …. life goes on. 🙂 keep smiling to curtain the way it sores, pierces, gashes and aches inside. 🙂 🙂

Hypocrites & Happiness! :D

How do you deal with hypocrites? Ignore and walk miles away.. 🙂

Personally, I hate them and if I could, I’d do everything to get rid of them from this world.. at least the world will be a better place to live without them. But I’m not invested with such powers hence I shall just stick to the first option. 😉

If you were in my shoes, how would you feel when you realize that a bunch of them are practically ignoring you? They prefer doing things in a group while you’re not there? They don’t make you feel a part of them again? I felt terrible but it didn’t bother me too much. You wanna know what ACTUALLY bothered me? The fact that they try to be nice when they need to get somethings done. What’s up with human nature lah? Haih.

I’m glad that I’ll be isolated to my own pace next week onwards. I’m best at ignoring people, especially those who don’t match my league. And of course I’ll choose to opt to shit I do the best. IGNOREE!

Okay. I’m done ranting.

On a brighter note, I got back my car. It’s perfect now.. 🙂 And nothing beats the feeling of driving your very own car. Haha. I sincerely appreciate the uncle (my dad’s friend) who borrowed me his car while my car was at the hospital last week. 🙂 Life was so much easier with it.

Aaahhhh… And and.. Did I tell you that I got an extension for my assignments? I was so happy then but I’m freaking out again cos I’m not done with Common Law. Submission is on the 1st of April. Oh.. On the BRIGHTESTTTT note, I’m on leave tomorrow and Friday morning.. 😀 Yay! A couple of hours without hypocrisy. :p And by hook or crook, I’ll get CLR done before I return to work on Friday evening! 🙂

Neways, sorry for the non-informational post. Toodles!

Decided?

Tough month ahead! *dieeeessss*

I’ve got 4, yes FOUR assignments to hand up consecutively from the 25th of March onwards. Seriously! No idea how am I gonna manage this but not that I have a choice. :/ Mum is suggesting me to opt for that which matters more to me and I’m seriously considering the idea. I don’t think I can handle this anymore! 😦

Studying and working is tough, very tough. I feel I spent half of my day in the office and it bores the shit outta me. I rather be studying Criminal Law or Contract Law. Haha. I’ve got a few option laid ahead of me and yeah, for once, I hope God will have some mercy on me. One after another challenge throughout these two month, I need a break!

Yes God, you won’t give me what I can’t handle but please stop pushing it over the limit. I can’t handle anymore, I can’t. I’m already struggling with my studies and working 10 hours a day is beyond craziness. Please God. Let me go this time? Give me the strength to choose the best for me.. Can?

Thank you God!

You Just Gotta Let It Be…

As the loneliness crept in, she wish she had someone to brighten up her soul. She felt she needed someone to rely upon, someone she can vent out her frustrations to, someone who could be there for her at all time.. 😦 And that’s when she realized that she is quite dependent to a certain extend and of course, this wasn’t pleasant for her. She had goals in her life and being attached to this mindset would not help her achieve those dreams.

But she’s a human after all. She can’t hide her feelings. She wants to be belonged to someone special in this cruel world. She wants to feel rejuvenated with the love of that special someone. She miss giving out love, care and attention to that special one.

And no, she’s not desperate. She won’t go around seeking for love. She won’t go around ranting that she wished she have the man of her dreams in her life. She’ll go with the flow. She’ll let time decide. She’ll concentrate on her goals but she’ll also give a space to let her emotions flow. She’ll try to smile always but let her heart cry when it feels like it.

She suppose, that’s life. You just gotta let it be. Everything will fall in place, someday, she hope.

Its Colorful WITHOUT You

It had been a pretty rough two weeks for me. My mind was never free from thoughts. Each incident kept haunting the already disturbed mind. Suddenly it feels like it had been ages since the last I was in peace. I can’t put into words the stress, tense and pain I went through for it wouldn’t justify anything.

A week ago, just before I got caught in a huge trouble, I saw him. I met him. And I could see it clearly, I’m definitely somebody he used to know. There was no care or love in his eyes. I can be more than sure that he just do not love me anymore, not the slightest bit. But its okay.. Though it hurt terribly then, its definitely in the process of healing already. He’s giving me more reasons to believe that I made the right choice, I did the right thing by leaving him. For one sole reason, I don’t deserve this, at all.

I’m the type of girl who takes relationships very seriously, let it be family, friends or the love of my life. I can’t stand someone treating me as if I do not possess any degree of dignity. I fall in my life more than once but I realized that after every rain, there is shine. I’ll get up once again, strong! So it just doesn’t matter if its taking forever to heal this time because I believe that it’ll eventually revive.

Juggling between work and studies is tough, so is juggling between the emotions. Sometimes, you just lose control and you have no choice but to break down, tear, cry, scream, … Cos after all, I’m just a normal girl like the rest of you.

Its okay. You may happen to see this. Its okay. You may choose to criticize me further. Its okay. At least I have ranted. Its okay.. Its okay.. I’ve seen the worst of you that whatever else you do wouldn’t cure the broken heart. 🙂 You can keep scarring the wound again and again but the pain is the same. You can’t hurt me more than you already did, my dear.

I wonder what was I thinking while I created the picture below..

Image

But I believe I can’t go wrong. And yes, though life is not as colorful, its unquestionably colorful WITHOUT you. When you left, you took away everything but with the blessings of God, my family and friends, I’m amazed with the way its all replenishing!

God bless~