TGIF!!! Yes, yes.. You got that right! Thank God Its Friday!! A day that I’ll look forward to for the next few months, perhaps years! For some unidentifiable reasons, I’m demotivated to work. No interest. Period.
I wonder, did I lose interest in this line after stepping into law? Or is it because I was on a month break that it bores the shit outta me to stare at the laptop all day long? I wonder. But no matter what the reasons are, I feel extremely fucked up. All I wanna do is laze around without committing to anything, except for my studies. Gosh!
Okay. I suppose I’m feeling this way because I’m anticipating for the long weekend. This is my first week at work after a month, what do you expect? :p I hope I’ll be energized next week onwards, or the week after next. I don’t have a choice but to look at everything in a positive perspective – errr.. to motivate myself? 🙂
Oh yeah, my biggest challenge for the past one week is to make decisions! Being a part of the team, I was told that I’ll have to contribute ideas, etc, etc, etc and I’ll have to develop leadership skills – ability to make decisions. Okay, to be very honest, I personally believe that I do have leadership skills but I can’t practice it at work for the fear that I may go wrong and cause a massive mistake.
I’m in the midst of trying my very best to develop this skill and I believe I’ll succeed within time. As of now, I noticed that I’m still quite dependent on my supervisor’s green light, I decide and get her approval before proceeding. 🙂 I realized that an intern’s task is limited in scope but when you’re really working out there, things are pretty much different! That’s when you understand the meaning of ‘independence’ and take yourself to a whole new level.
The toughest challenge of my life now is TIME CONSTRAINT! I have loads of things to be done but I don’t have the time to complete it all. As a law student, I can’t afford reading the whole bulk at the very last minute. I have to read and study consistently, which means EVERYDAY! 24 hours a day is certainly NOT enough! I’m at work for 11 hours (includes traveling), I sleep a maximum of 6 hours a day and approximately 2 hours or so to bath, etc. Now, with only 4 to 5 remaining hours in a day, especially after a long day, don’t you think its more than difficult to concentrate on my studies? And with 4 bulky subjects to read, hell no, 4 hours a day is NOT enough at all!
I wouldn’t deny that is one of the reasons I’m developing this love-hate relationship with my career. I wanna concentrate on law and score well but I also need MONEY to survive. Haha. Well, I suppose that as usual, in life, you just gotta make choices since there’s no way you’ll get all you want. Think wisely and choose the most important, the decision that matters the most to you. 🙂 Easier said that done, but yeah, don’t be too harsh on yourself. 🙂
I’m gonna try my best to manage my time wisely and work both my studies and career out. Yes, you can call me lifeless now but if I happen to succeed in both, then we shall see who’s lifeless in the next 3 years. 😉 Hope all goes well or I may have to make a decision of my life. Haih!
P/S- Did I tell you that I hardly go out for lunch with my colleagues cos I’m usually busy studying in the office? Lifeless much? :p
Gong Xi Fa Chai! Happy Chinese New Year!