Wired Thoughts

I have long came to know that everyone comes into your life for a reason but I can’t help but to question myself each and every time someone results me reminiscing past events that I am not even interested to recollect.

What’s the purpose really you came into my life to make me feel this way?

Most the time I have to look at the positive aspect of it – perhaps to make me stronger.

I am well aware that I should not hold past grudges against anyone but sometimes, some actions gives you the same level of anxiety as it did previously and in some situations, you find it extremely difficult to express these feelings to someone who barely wants to understand your soul – what would be the best next course of action?

Personally, I’d try my very best to make the other person understand. But again, one would only understand if they choose to comprehend to your situation. It will be really difficult to achieve the breakthrough if the other person chooses not to hear you out instead. It makes you feel like you’re constantly trapped in your own thoughts and that feeling of wanting to breakfree from such depressing feelings only adds up to the emotional turmoil that you’re facing.

I often find myself in this situation and can’t seem to find the best solution for it. I’m literally feeling anxious as I am typing this away because I have loads to say but I can’t seem to express my thoughts in the best way. I realise I’m one person who prefers to communicate and expects the other party to listen. But again, not all five fingers are the same. Not everyone has the capabilities of being a favorable listener.

Some would say, walk away from the people who do not choose to understand you? How do you do that really? Especially when that person is someone you love dearly? Like God damn it, I want you to hear me out. I want to be more than physically naked to you. I want to be naked with you mentally too. Can I not pour my feelings to you while I be sure that I’ll always have your back? And can you have some respect to my feelings and try your best not to do anything that will ignite such anxiety within me?