The Road Less Traveled

“True love is when you shed a tear and still want him. It’s when he ignores you and you still love him. It’s when he loves another but you still smile and say ‘I’m happy for you’… when all you really want to do is cry.” ~ Anonymous

“I’m okay”, two words that covers the life puzzle like no other. Its the easiest way not to be questioned further because you’re just too exasperated to explain the way you feel about everything. You realize that your life is a maze, indeed a mystifying one. You’re aware that you’ll face a stumbling block no matter which junction you take hence you resolve to go right up ahead and just let it be because you want to be happy now… you want to live for the moment, not for the future… and most importantly, you wanna smile now, genuinely because you’re tired of being overwhelmed with emotions every now and then.

While travelling your road, you may appear to be lonesome but the truth is, you’re not at all lonely. You’ve got the most amazing friends you can rely on at any time, any day and you know for fact that they’ll be there for you. Also, you’ve got your family back at any time you need them and you’ve got God, hence there’s no need for anything else. Oh well, you can’t escape from the oh-so-judgmental human nature. Thus, its best to be ignorant to an extent and continue walking down your the path you’ve chosen because in the end, the journey is yours… you’ve got to live for yourself, not for others. 🙂

Over the years, I’ve traveled my road, I’ve walked my path, I’ve overcome the mountains and here I am, at a crossroad once again. Damn! Didn’t I mention earlier that I’m clearly aware that no matter which junction I take, I know I’d have to overcome a mountain or another. Gosh. Can’t the sun just shine for longer days? Why must it rain so soon?

Silly me, without hesitation, I decided to take the road less traveled, the road that leads to familiar destruction, the road that I walked back from years ago. But I’m not regretting because I’m happy, though not completely, but I am… Yes, I’m very much enlightened with the fact that this is gonna be temporary but why not?.. Life is a risk after all.

Why Law?

The head is spinning. The eyes is straining. The body is aching. Would you agree with me if I tell you that assignments are killing? :p

Sometimes, I really wonder, what on earth was I thinking when I took up law? Did I take it up out of passion, or did I do it to fulfill my dad’s dream or was to prove them who said I was not capable of doing it wrong? Yes, I’m a reader but I can’t read textbooks consisting 1000 pages on facts! :/

Just a brief introduction, I’ve completed my first degree in B.A. Mass Communications majoring in Marketing Communication. I’m yet to officially graduate as my former dumb ass college decided to delay the convocation this year but yeah, I’m sorta done! And without giving myself a break, I took up law as a second degree almost immediately. I was afraid that I’ll lose the umpphh of studying if I procrastinate any longer.

But today, I’m thinking, was it a hasty decision after all?

I had too much confidence in myself that I’ll be able to manage it all.. Both work and studies and the same time but of course I was ABSOLUTELY wrong! After barely two months, I decided to give up with work and concentrate on my studies wholly.But what does this proves? I rather sacrifice my career in a multinational company for a LLB in hand?

Honestly, I have no castles build in the air for my future.. I’m just living life with the flow and gathering strength each and every day to get through any challenges that gets in my way. I’ve always wanted to stay away from everyone in my very own space and completing my final year in UK will definitely turn the wishes to reality!

I suppose there’s no point to find out the reasons of me taking up law because as much as I know about myself, the passion is within me. I’m the type who always wanna know it all and what else would be better to have the law at your fingertips over the years? 😉

Determination is the key to success. No point looking back and reminiscing the decision taken, just gotta be determined to complete another challenge in life. 🙂 LLB, here I come!

Back to assignment ey.. 😀

Decided?

Tough month ahead! *dieeeessss*

I’ve got 4, yes FOUR assignments to hand up consecutively from the 25th of March onwards. Seriously! No idea how am I gonna manage this but not that I have a choice. :/ Mum is suggesting me to opt for that which matters more to me and I’m seriously considering the idea. I don’t think I can handle this anymore! 😦

Studying and working is tough, very tough. I feel I spent half of my day in the office and it bores the shit outta me. I rather be studying Criminal Law or Contract Law. Haha. I’ve got a few option laid ahead of me and yeah, for once, I hope God will have some mercy on me. One after another challenge throughout these two month, I need a break!

Yes God, you won’t give me what I can’t handle but please stop pushing it over the limit. I can’t handle anymore, I can’t. I’m already struggling with my studies and working 10 hours a day is beyond craziness. Please God. Let me go this time? Give me the strength to choose the best for me.. Can?

Thank you God!

When 24 Hours Is Not Enough For You!

TGIF!!! Yes, yes.. You got that right! Thank God Its Friday!! A day that I’ll look forward to for the next few months, perhaps years! For some unidentifiable reasons, I’m demotivated to work. No interest. Period.

I wonder, did I lose interest in this line after stepping into law? Or is it because I was on a month break that it bores the shit outta me to stare at the laptop all day long? I wonder. But no matter what the reasons are, I feel extremely fucked up. All I wanna do is laze around without committing to anything, except for my studies. Gosh!

Okay. I suppose I’m feeling this way because I’m anticipating for the long weekend. This is my first week at work after a month, what do you expect? :p I hope I’ll be energized next week onwards, or the week after next. I don’t have a choice but to look at everything in a positive perspective – errr.. to motivate myself? 🙂

Oh yeah, my biggest challenge for the past one week is to make decisions! Being a part of the team, I was told that I’ll have to contribute ideas, etc, etc, etc and I’ll have to develop leadership skills – ability to make decisions. Okay, to be very honest, I personally believe that I do have leadership skills but I can’t practice it at work for the fear that I may go wrong and cause a massive mistake.

I’m in the midst of trying my very best to develop this skill and I believe I’ll succeed within time. As of now, I noticed that I’m still quite dependent on my supervisor’s green light, I decide and get her approval before proceeding. 🙂 I realized that an intern’s task is limited in scope but when you’re really working out there, things are pretty much different! That’s when you understand the meaning of ‘independence’ and take yourself to a whole new level.

The toughest challenge of my life now is TIME CONSTRAINT! I have loads of things to be done but I don’t have the time to complete it all. As a law student, I can’t afford reading the whole bulk at the very last minute. I have to read and study consistently, which means EVERYDAY! 24 hours a day is certainly NOT enough! I’m at work for 11 hours (includes traveling), I sleep a maximum of 6 hours a day and approximately 2 hours or so to bath, etc. Now, with only 4 to 5 remaining hours in a day, especially after a long day, don’t you think its more than difficult to concentrate on my studies? And with 4 bulky subjects to read, hell no, 4 hours a day is NOT enough at all!

I wouldn’t deny that is one of the reasons I’m developing this love-hate relationship with my career. I wanna concentrate on law and score well but I also need MONEY to survive. Haha. Well, I suppose that as usual, in life, you just gotta make choices since there’s no way you’ll get all you want. Think wisely and choose the most important, the decision that matters the most to you. 🙂 Easier said that done, but yeah, don’t be too harsh on yourself. 🙂

I’m gonna try my best to manage my time wisely and work both my studies and career out. Yes, you can call me lifeless now but if I happen to succeed in both, then we shall see who’s lifeless in the next 3 years. 😉 Hope all goes well or I may have to make a decision of my life. Haih!

P/S- Did I tell you that I hardly go out for lunch with my colleagues cos I’m usually busy studying in the office? Lifeless much? :p

Gong Xi Fa Chai! Happy Chinese New Year!

Toodles! 😀