Have you came across a situation where you have loads of things crossing your mind and heart but you can’t seem to put it in words and burst it out loud?
I have. I’m feeling it at this very moment. I have no idea how to form my unspoken thoughts to words.. It’s more difficult than algebra.
I didn’t know love will cause this much pain. Memories flood my mind almost every day.. And I’m wondering, how could he forget me totally? How come I don’t matter anymore?
Not to brag, but I had been there for all good and bad times in his life as long as I was there.. When his friends left his side, I was there. When his precious instrument was confiscated, I was there. When he had no place to stay, I was there. When he was facing challenges with his studies, I was there… In the end, I’m still there but he’d found a better life.
I don’t understand the concept of life and love. I feel like Humpty Dumpty with a twist in my story. I was sitting on a wall called love and I had a great fall.. 😦 This time around, I find it really tough to get back to where I was sitting hence I’m opting for another wall called life.. Concentrate on myself, family, friends and God. If I’m gonna fall from this wall as well, I don’t think I’d have the courage to look for another wall.
Oh God, you’ve taken the word love out of my life.. Please don’t take the rest. I’m contended with what I have eventhough he once said that I’m not..
Smiling in sorrow has became a routine. Showing joy on the outside while my heart cries inside has became a habit. I wanna get outta this shithole. Seriously.
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